This blog is made by María Fernanda Jiménez Rodríguez, Lucía Cruz Pérez, Daniela Hernandez Meribo, and Paola Torres Gómez for the UVM USA History Class. To show and obtain extra information of the classes.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
The victims of the Holocaust were somewhat surprised. Germany before Hitler wasn't the most anti-Semitic country in the world; the late 19th century had seen pogroms in Poland and Russia that caused millions to flee for the New World. Germany was one of the most modern, cosmopolitan and advanced societies in the world at the time. Jews were somewhat integrated. It was France that had experienced l'affaire Dreyfuss, not Germany. But unfortunately Germans were persuaded to go against people whom they had lived alongside for decades and fought alongside during the Great War.
I hope we can learn from our mistakes in history and keep a healthy skepticism towards politicians, especially those who are particularly bombastic.
Famous Bitches in History: Adolf Hitler
This article is the demostration of the social impact and people's curiosity. I found it really funny and true, I think is is a very good and understandable way to see history.
Basically, there was this little knobgobbling bitch named Hitler. He was a sensitive little guy and went to art school to express his stupid feelings. He failed. Miserably. Instead of killing himself early on, like he should have, he turned to militant fascism and world domination. Essentially the natural evolution of a crazed hipster.
Hitler had excellent oratory skills, probably from all the shafts he tongue sculpted for “extra credit” in art school. He convinced the German people of all sorts of crazy bullshit. One of the crazy ass things those morons believed was that there was a superior Aryan race of human beings that is entitled to rule over all others. It’s strange that Hitler was able to convince people of this, because he himself was not a blond haired blue-eyed Aryan. Hitler wasn’t even German. He was Austrian. God people are stupid.
He built up a huge ass army and started acting sketchy. He invaded Poland and quickly zergrushed across Europe. Instead of immediately crushing him, all the other genius countries tried to appease Hitler. They sent him candygrams and flowers, hoping that he would stop being an asshole. He flattered them and said he’d call back… but he never did. He just kept on fucking them over. Italy got wind of the easy pussy and joined forces with Germany. So did Japan, for some stupid reason. Japanese people are just about the farthest thing from being Aryan, but whatever.
Every morning, Hitler had to have his vitamin shots. It’s reported that he barely had the energy to get out of bed in the morning. But after his vitamin shots, he was super charged and ready to conquer the world. His personal doctor later came forward and revealed that his “vitamin shots” were actually methamphetamines, which in retrospect makes a lot of sense. He was also addicted to cocaine, received injections of bulls semen, was a vegetarian, and had what I assume are politely understated sharting issues.
Credit where credit is due, German technology was pretty boss. They completely fucked Europe up with it. Between the Panzer tanks, the Luftwaffe, and the U-boats, Germany was one of the most powerful militaries of its time. France pretty much surrendered immediately. Big surprise. It looked like all of the children in Europe would soon be reciting “Mein Kampf” at bedtime until Hitler made the biggest mistake of his entire career. He declared war on the Soviet Union. The Soviets were total tools, don’t get me wrong. The USSR lost more soldiers than any other nation, but that was probably because they were given brooms to fight with instead of rifles.
However, the Soviet winter is what undid Hitler’s grand plans. Parts of Eastern Europe are so fucking cold that gasoline freezes. The Germans did not anticipate this and their tanks stopped working. In fact Hitler was so fucking stupid sure that his army would quickly beat the Russians that most German units didn’t even have winter clothing when they invaded. Hitler assumed he’d be able to take Moscow and end the war before winter really set in. Never mind the fact that Napoleon took Moscow 130 years prior, and you know who didn’t give a fuck? The Russians. They just kept fighting until their winter reminded him that he was commanding the French. Sending your troops into Russia without FUCKING JACKETS is so hilariously stupid that I can barely figure it out. It’s like going to a Congolese whorehouse without a condom because you think pulling out will keep you AIDS free. But back to the tanks, since the Soviets grew up in that winter wonderland of suck, they had already figured out ways to keep their tanks moving. An army is not an army without tanks. No matter how shitty your enemy is, if they have tanks and you don’t, you are completely fucked. Hitler was now fighting a multi front war, one of which he had absolutely no hope of winning.
Now America, this whole time, had been TFTC. We didn’t give two shits about all those Europussies and their problems. We were just hanging out. America was a whole bunch of Fonzies about WWII up until the day that those dirty Japanese sons of bitches bombed Pearl Harbor. After that Hitler declared war on the U.S. of A., inviting the two kids with the biggest dicks on the block to Eiffel Tower him.
That’s exactly what happened. While the Soviets curb stomped the Wehrmacht in the east America had to go rescue France’s pathetic country from the Nazis. We landed in Normandy and began one of the most awesome goddamn boner inducing military campaigns in American history. As the Axis powers retreated, Allied forces began to discover Nazi death camps all over the place. We realized that Hitler had been systematically killing millions of Jews. His reasoning for killing Jews was based on the “sound logic” of eugenics, totally not the demon meth voices in his head.
As Allied forces closed in on Berlin. Hitler knew that he was screwed. Of all the Allied forces, the Soviets were the closest to taking Berlin. Hitler knew that if the Red Army captured him, they would mercilessly butt fuck him and parade his corpse around Russia as a sex doll. Instead of being publicly sodomized again and again, Hitler chose to kill himself before the Soviets could reach him… like a bitch.
So remember kids, don’t do meth… and if you ever fail out of art school, don’t be a dick and try to take over the world. If you feel so inclined then do us all a favor and off yourself…
Reference: http://totalfratmove.com/famous-bitches-in-history-adolf-hitler/
-Lucía
Special War Quotes
We no longer demand anything, we want war. - Germany's foreign minister, August 1939.
Air superiority is a condition for all operations, at sea, in land, and in the air. - Air Marshal Arthur Tedder.
Among the men who fought on Iwo Jima, uncommon valor was a common virtue. - Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz (March 16, 1945)
No other island received as much preliminary pounding as did Iwo Jima. - Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, Commander in Chief of the Pacific Fleet
The raising of that flag on Suribachi means a Marine Corps for the next 500 years. - James Forrestal, Secretary of the Navy (February 23, 1945)
Sure, we want to go home. We want this war over with. The quickest way to get it over with is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home. The shortest way home is through Berlin and Tokyo. And when we get to Berlin, I am personally going to shoot that paper hanging son-of-a-bitch Hitler. Just like I'd shoot a snake! - General George S. Patton, Jr (addressing to his troops before Operation Overlord, June 5, 1944)
We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on beaches, landing grounds, in fields, in streets and on the hills. We shall never surrender. - Winston Churchill.
The world must know what happened, and never forget. - General Eisenhower, while visiting nazi death camps, 1945.
History knows no greater display of courage than that shown by the people of the Soviet Union. - Henry Stimson.
Among the men who fought on Iwo Jima, uncommon valor was a common virtue - Admiral Nimitz.
I believe it is peace in our time.- Neville Chamberlain, 1938
Today we rule Germany, tomorrow, the world. - Adolf Hitler
I am asking of no man more than I myself was ready throughout four years to do - Adolf Hitler
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -Albert Einstein
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few. - Winston Churchill, about R.A.F fighter pilots.
We want to get the hell over there. The quicker we clean up this Goddamned mess, the quicker we can take a little jaunt against the purple pissing Japs and clean out their nest, too. Before the Goddamned Marines get all of the credit. - General George S. Patton, Jr (addressing his troops prior to Operation Overlord, June 5, 1944)
I shall return. - General Douglas Macarthur, Supreme Allied Commander of South-West Pacific (speaking about the Philippines, when he was forced to retreat to Austrailia, 1942)
History - in every century, records an act that lives forevermore. We'll recall - as in to line we fall, the thing that happened on Hawaii's shore.
United in this determination and with unshakable faith in the cause for which we fight, we will, with God's help, go forward to our greatest victory. - General Dwight D. Eisenhower (1944)
They (Women Marines) don't have a nickname, and they don't need one. They get their basic training in a Marine atmosphere, at a Marine Post. They inherit the traditions of the Marines. They are Marines. - Lieutenant General Thomas Holcomb (1943)
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. - Winston Churchill.
The gallantry and aggressive fighting spirit of the Russian soldiers command the American army's admiration. - George C. Marshall, Chief of Staff, U.S. Army
The scale and grandeur of the Russian effort mark it as the greatest military achievement in all history. - General Douglas Macarthur, Supreme Allied Commander of South-West Pacific
Goddam it, you'll never get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole! Follow me! - Captain Henry P. Jim Crowe (Guadalcanal, January 13, 1943)
Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning. - Colonel David M. Shoup (Tarawa, November 21, 1943)
*Mafer Jimenez
Stalin's Life
than two decades, instituting a reign of terror while modernizing Russia and helping to defeat Nazism.
IN THESE GROUPS
FAMOUS PEOPLE IN MILITARY HISTORY
FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO DIED IN MOSCOW
FAMOUS PEOPLE BORN IN GORI, GEORGIA
FAMOUS PEOPLE NAMED JOSEPH
Show All Groups
1 of 4 « »
QUOTES
“History shows that there are no invincible armies.”
—Joseph Stalin
Joseph Stalin - The Secret Police (TV-14; 1:42) As dictator of the Soviet Union, Stalin exerted full state control over the Russian people. Citizens were encouraged to accuse and turn-in each other.
Synopsis
Born on December 18, 1879, in Gori, Georgia, Joseph Stalin rose to power as General Secretary of the Communist Party, becoming a Soviet dictator upon Vladimir Lenin's death. Stalin forced rapid industrialization and the collectivization of agricultural land, resulting in millions dying from famine while others were sent to camps. His Red Army helped defeat Nazi Germany during WWII.
*Mafer Jimenez
Mussolini's Life
enito Mussolini created the Fascist Party in Italy in 1919, eventually making himself dictator prior to World War II. He was killed in 1945.
IN THESE GROUPS
FAMOUS POLITICAL PARTY
FAMOUS LEOS
FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO DIED IN 1945
FAMOUS PEOPLE NAMED MUSSOLINI
Show All Groups
1 of 6 « »
QUOTES
“It is humiliating to remain with our hands folded while others write history. It matters little who wins. To make a people great it is necessary to send them to battle even if you have to kick them in the pants. That is what I shall do.”
—Benito Mussolini
Benito Mussolini - Full Episode (TV-14; 46:03) The full biography of Benito Mussolini.
Synopsis
Born in 1883 in Dovia di Predappio, Forlì, Italy, Benito Mussolini was an ardent socialist as a youth, following in his father's political footsteps, but was expelled by the party for his support of World War I. In 1919, he created the Fascist Party, eventually making himself dictator and holding all the power in Italy. He overextended his forces during World War II and was eventually killed by his own people, on April 28, 1945, in Mezzegra, Italy.
circa 1920: Italian dictactor Benito Mussolini (1883 - 1945). (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
*Mafer Jimenez
Hitler's Life
Adolf Hitler was the leader of Nazi Germany from 1934 to 1945. He initiated World War II and oversaw fascist policies that resulted in millions of deaths.
IN THESE GROUPS
FAMOUS GERMANS
FAILED ASSASSINATIONS
FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO DIED ON APRIL 30
FAMOUS DROPOUTS
Show All Groups
1 of 15 « »
QUOTES
“Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live.”
—Adolf Hitler
Adolf Hitler - Mini Biography (TV-14; 4:54) Adolf Hitler was leader of the Nazi Party and became Chancellor of Germany in 1933. As leader of the Third Reich, he invaded Poland, which started World War II. He orchestrated the Holocaust, which resulted in the death of 6 million Jews.
Synopsis
Born in Austria in 1889, Adolf Hitler rose to power in German politics as leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party, also known as the Nazi Party. Hitler was chancellor of Germany from 1933 to 1945, and served as dictator from 1934 to 1945. His policies precipitated World War II and the Holocaust. Hitler committed suicide with wife Eva Braun on April 30, 1945, in his Berlin bunker.
*Mafer Jimenez